Goodbye Goals
Continued...
That's great for the three percent, but if this study is accurate, there must something we can do for the other 97 percent. How do we help them achieve? I decided to personally research this report and found that the business magazine, Fast Company, had already completed a very thorough investigation of the study. Through their research they discovered that the study never took place - it never even happened. Nowhere in Yale's records did they find mention of such a study. The assortment of consultants, trainers, and motivational speakers who put the power of setting personal goals above all else had been perpetuating this story for years - many in good faith, I'm sure. Am I saying that goal setting is wrong? No, I am saying that the traditional principle of goal setting needs to be re-visited. I strongly believe that the improper use of goals can be dangerous.
What happens when you, or perhaps your employees, set a goal (or, as is often the case, goals have been set for them) and two-thirds of the way through the targeted time period they conclude that the goal is unattainable. Do their efforts increase or decrease?
What happens when you fall short of your desired goal? Do you focus on the fact that you didn't attain your goal, or do you celebrate what progress you did achieve? Most people focus on the first.
I believe that if it were possible to fully understand the negative impact of the improper use of goals on individuals, families, businesses and society in general, we would be astounded. When we set goals without a vision, or have goals thrust upon us, the negative psychological effects of failing or falling short can be devastating. Many individuals move from feeling guilty to feeling shame. Guilt is feeling bad about what we have or haven't done. Shame is feeling bad about who we are. Guilt, in and of itself can be a helpful emotion as long as we learn from it and let it go. Shame, on the other hand, can be incapacitating. When our self-talk moves from the positive to the negative, we must guard against moving into shame.
Let's say you have set a weight loss goal for yourself, and you have accomplished about 50 percent of your goal; you dropped eleven of the twenty-two pounds you intended to lose and your loss has hit a plateau. Where is your focus? Are you celebrating the positive experience of losing those eleven pounds or are you feeding your potential "failure" with thoughts of what you did not accomplish? If you're like most people, you already feel that you haven't lived up to your own expectations. You begin to focus on what you did not achieve, which begins to attract the very results you dread and the lost weight reappears.
Many of us are familiar with Napoleon Hill's dictum, which lies at the heart of the entire personal growth movement: "Anything the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve." Armed with enthusiasm, we feverishly start writing down goals--especially around New Year's Day. More often than not, we set expectations for ourselves that, because of our process of goal management, become unattainable. When we focus on time frames, every unmet deadline can work against us eventually leading to paralysis and the decision to "start over." The cycle continues. We fail to congratulate ourselves for the positive steps we do take and soon we have set ourselves up for more failure; and we do it again and again and again- perhaps nearly every time we set goals for ourselves! Goals are not wrong; the way most people use goals is wrong.
Think of a goal as the little boost you need to get into motion. When you learned to ride a bike you may have stood holding the bike making occasional attempts, until Dad came along and gave you a little shove to help you get in motion. You may want to use goals to get started, but a clear vision is what will keep you going until you reach your destination.
